Friday, January 30, 2009

Ruben's Birthday

January 29 - 1968 - Ruben's Birthday
How it was back in 1968.
Photos at the end of the post.
I will never forget, we struggeled to get a Taxi to the Hospital. In the early morning on January 29 in 1968
Solvi was 2 weeks after "the scheduled time" for Birth.
Her first.
We had no phone at home. Due to that times socialist "planning economy".
So I had to walk for 5 minutes to find a Phone Kiosk.
And said: My Wife - The water has gone.
- - Call a Taxi, was the simple answer.

We got a Taxi and arrived the Womens Clinic early in the Morning.
Very well wellcomed. Indeed.

I was told to sit down in the "Waiting Room" while Solvi was brought into the, at that time: "Forbidden Zone for Papas". January 1968

10 minutes later I was given a package, Gray paper: Solvi's Clothes.
- - And with the following message: You h
ave to leave now, but you can Call us
- - What, am I to call you? We do not have a Phone

- - Sorry, this is the Rules
Papa had to leave. My feelings - gosh - what do you think: Empty. Totally empty.

I did call. Several Times. No result. Nothing new.

At last, after several hours.
You have a Son.
- - When can I come and see him?

- - In 5 hours
- - 5 hours, why not at once?
- - That's the Rules.

What could I say? Hospitals in Norway are state owned.
I did see my first Son, Ruben, through a Window.

Touch him, 3 Days later.

My first Son.
Born January 29, 1968.

Here is some photos from h
is life. We had so much fun together. Allways.
He is missed by all of us.
(Photos from the memorial - on Facebook)

It's up to you to read the text above and spend some seconds to look at the Pictures.
You will learn me to know by doing

Here yo
u see the Lucky Family in the beginning of the 1970'ies. Reading books for Ruben and Niklas in the Evenings was a Daily part of our life. Here you see from left Papa, Niklas, Solvi and Ruben.

Can it be true? A Sister? Here with Grandmothers to the left, brother Niklas, Ingelin on Rubens knees and Grandfather (My Father)

Playing Brothers - Here in Austria 1975

Here you see all my 4 kids - back in the mid 1980'ies (Niklas, Ingelin, Ruben, Mats)

Ruben as young teenager

Ruben, Mats, Ingelin, Papa
Ruben, Mats, Ingelin and Papa - 1994 in Puerto Montt. Chile. Ruben was the only one of us that could speak Spanish. Mat's - well he could also something.

Ruben and Son (Filip) - Bygdøy

Writing in Rubens Momorial Protocol - 1 hr and 33 minutes.

The last Farwell with Flowers

And here you see some of Rubens best friends. Photo taken January 29 - 2009.
We talked a lot. With the combination of loss and what Ruben had given them. Memorable.

Postscript. Ruben's friend did tell us he loved his Papa and Anna.
We are grateful for all the moments we had together.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

A very sad day for you Tor, very sad, but this is a beautiful way to remember his life.

January 30, 2009 11:02 pm  
Anonymous DianeCA said...

I a sorry for your loss Tor, I know you have a whole which can never be filled again. You do have many good memories though. All children are gifts and we can never really own them, we can only borrow them for a while.

January 30, 2009 11:23 pm  
Blogger Ginnie said...

All the special days and holidays are so hard, Tor, I know. May your tears cleanse you of your unbearable grief. May you find solace in the comfort and love of all your friends around the world!

January 30, 2009 11:54 pm  
Anonymous ghee said...

Happy Bday to Ruben...

This is one of the great ways to commemorate him.It also proves that "love" of a mother/father is "unconditional" and never ending.I can feel the overflowing emotions,Tor.Pls take your time to heal the wound...

BTW,i was born in 1969.I am one year older than Ruben.I can relate so much with what you`re feeling.Me,myself,lost a father a very long time ago.Until now,he stays in my heart and mind.


January 31, 2009 12:05 am  
Anonymous Lifecruiser said...

Dear, dear memories to cherish for the rest of life. How strange it must be to look at the photos knowing he's gone, but in the same time reminding of good memories. *sigh*

At least no one can take away the memories. Or the fact that he had such a loving and caring family.


January 31, 2009 1:13 am  
Blogger Maribeth said...

My dearest Viking. I do know your pain. It is the worst. Be comforted that Ruben loved you so much. I know for me, my comfort is to know that my last words with Katie were "I love you".
Hugs to you, Anna and Ingelin from your dear friend in New Hampshire!

January 31, 2009 1:30 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

That is so sad, Tor and your grief come through in your writing. It's a beautiful tribute to a loved son and it must have been painful to write. But thank you for taking the courage to write it and show it to us.


January 31, 2009 1:36 am  
Blogger Puss-in-Boots said...

That is so sad, Tor and your grief come through in your writing. It's a beautiful tribute to a loved son and it must have been painful to write. But thank you for taking the courage to write it and show it to us.


January 31, 2009 1:36 am  
Blogger lime said...

thank you for sharing more of reuben with us. i'm glad also on his birthday you could spend some time with his friends who could return some of the love to you that reuben shared with them. peace to you, friend.

January 31, 2009 1:47 am  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Such wonderful memories, dear Tor....Beautiful pictures, too!
It is very meanngful to see your very dear family when they were so very young.....Ruben....Your dear dear First Born. I know it was a hard day, but also, so important to remember, and to Honor him.....!
I know your heart is broken, my dear blog friend...I wish for you just a little bit of healing as time goes by...I know it will never ever really be healed...I understand that. But hopefully the seering pain will subside a little bit as time goes by....I send you big big ((((((((hugs)))))))).

January 31, 2009 1:55 am  
Blogger Janet said...

Tor, what a wonderful tribute to your you must miss him.

January 31, 2009 3:58 am  
Blogger Gattina said...

This must be an awful day for you. fortunately you have your souvenirs.

January 31, 2009 9:41 am  
Anonymous Gunnar B said...

I read your post with tears in my eyes Tor.

January 31, 2009 10:15 am  
Anonymous ghee said...

oh yes,I meant Im a year younger. :) I just woke up when I came here and my mind was a bit disoriented... :D

happy weekend,Tor!Anna is always on your side so hug her tight. :)


January 31, 2009 3:42 pm  
Blogger TorAa said...

@To all of you:
Believe it or not:
It was a Moment filled with joy and good memories. With Rubens best friends. It was very positive regarding our journey to be reliefed from our grief.
With other words, it was, after all, a step forward in the memory of Ruben.

Thank you all for your kind words and warm feelings.

It's hard, oooh yaahh, but life goes on.

Love all

Tor and Anna

January 31, 2009 6:02 pm  
Anonymous RennyBA said...

I admire your openness in this Tor and what a great contribution to your Son. I'm sorry I never met him, but at the funeral, I met some of his good friends and that was a warm meeting.

Your loss can never be filled, but you have a great deal of good memories and I am glad you are able to dwell on them. You have all the reasons to be proud of Ruben.

January 31, 2009 7:09 pm  
Blogger Teena in Toronto said...

Nice tribute to Ruben.

January 31, 2009 8:46 pm  
Blogger Expat Traveler said...

What a wonderful post! I love the photo of the blond brothers!!!!! Great memories to be thankful for...

And it is also the week of my mother's birthday... I was sick all week, so excuse the late reading..

I am happy for you! :)

February 01, 2009 4:52 am  
Blogger Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I thought about you all day the 29th. I was sending you all the good thoughts I would send your way. It must have been a very difficult day. I surely would have been for me. I cannot imagine.

Big hug to you and Anna. :)

February 01, 2009 10:28 pm  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

I can tell what a wonderful guy he was. Life was not fair to him and I am so sorry he had to leave you all so soon. Perhaps he is happy and sees all and knows all the answers of LIFE now. You have had great relationships in your life and were all blessed to know each other. My heart goes out to you now with remembering and missing him.

February 02, 2009 11:43 pm  
Blogger Fleur de Lisa said...

Thank you for sharing this with us, Tor. I enjoyed the pictures so much and I think my favorite is of you with the kids in Chile. I can tell you are always a very proud papa.

February 03, 2009 2:11 am  

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