Happy Birthday dear Ruben

Under her you see Ruben, down left, at Blue Monk, in Oslo with friends.
 
Among them a Norwegian Icon – regarding music: Jokke. #3 from left. Jokke died 36 years young. And Ruben died just over 40.
 
Here is Niklas, my Son, with my grandson Sebastian at the Grave. We lit Candles every January 29.
And Sebastian allways want me to tell stories of my Father and Grand Parents, who as well are burried here.
Then we are talking, Niklas and me, what a great time Ruben and his early dead friends have in St Peters Waiting Room.
And of course we as well said to Sebastian:
Ruben and his friends really have a jolly good time in St. Peters Waiting Room, and they don’t want us to join them for years to come. But we will. Before Ruben and friends asking for entrance…
Sebastian (9 1/2) looked at the Gravestone and said:
There is no more room for another name here.
Niklas said: Then we will buy a larger stone, so we all can stay together with our names and memories.  But, You know a such large Stone costs money.
Sebastian replied: I can and will demand half of my softdrinks and goodies as of today. I would rather meet Uncle Ruben and Grandpas Family up there in the Waiting Room.
Then he looked upon me
-- a deep breath:
Grandpa, I hope we can meet here for many years to come....…

--- so are we folks - have a great week

In memory of Ruben - 1968 - 2008

My dear readers, there is something in a persons life that's harder than anything else:
Loosing your own Child....

Here above you see Ruben on Christmas Eve 2006.
He arrived late. He was not aware of the Fact Public Transportation was closed beteween 5 pm and 9 pm. He called papa and was very confused:
- Papa, I'm here west of Oslo, no Money at all, how can I come to you?
- Find a Taxi, Papa will pay, you will be my best Christmas Gift after all.
- But, taxi-drivers also celebrate Christmas Eve
- Most Taxi-Drivers nowadays in Oslo are Muslims, so I think you will find one...
Yes, he did, 90 minutes later he arrived.
It was worth the $120.

Ruben left our Home after 48 hours talking and talking with papa. So we were. Papa miss Ruben. And  Papa thinks about you every Day - and will allways do.
Rest in Peace my dear Son.
We will allways miss you.

Wordless Wednesday - 2010-01-27

Fed up with Cats - Kittens and Baby Boy?

My regulare readers might have been fed up with cats and kittens and baby boy the past months.
I really understand that fact. So let be honest, my blog post's the past months has been written for my family and close friends not living in Norway.

I must admit, this entry is also very selfish:
My son Ruben should have been 42 on Friday Jan 29. But he died from poisning on May 18th 2008. Here you see him as the passionate and interesting discussion partner he allways were.

More to come...

WW-participants here.

By the Way: Have you ever thought about meeting other blog friends in flesh and blood?
Click here for a chance in your Lifetime to do so. 
Click here to see what bloggers write about this unique event.

Ruben's Birthday

January 29 - 1968 - Ruben's Birthday
How it was back in 1968.
Photos at the end of the post.
I will never forget, we struggeled to get a Taxi to the Hospital. In the early morning on January 29 in 1968
Solvi was 2 weeks after "the scheduled time" for Birth. Her first.
We had no phone at home. Due to that times socialist "planning economy".
So I had to walk for 5 minutes to find a Phone Kiosk. And said: My Wife - The water has gone.
- - Call a Taxi, was the simple answer.
We got a Taxi and arrived the Womens Clinic early in the Morning.
Very well wellcomed. Indeed.
I was told to sit down in the "Waiting Room" while Solvi was brought into the, at that time: "Forbidden Zone for Papas". January 1968

10 minutes later I was given a package, Gray paper: Solvi's Clothes.
- - And with the following message: You have to leave now, but you can Call us
- - What, am I to call you? We do not have a Phone
- - Sorry, this is the Rules
Papa had to leave. My feelings - gosh - what do you think: Empty. Totally empty.

I did call. Several Times. No result. Nothing new.
At last, after several hours.
You have a Son.
- - When can I come and see him?
- - In 5 hours
- - 5 hours, why not at once?
- - That's the Rules.

What could I say? Hospitals in Norway are state owned.
I did see my first Son, Ruben, through a Window.
Touch him, 3 Days later.

My first Son.
Born January 29, 1968.

Here is some photos from his life. We had so much fun together. Allways.
He is missed by all of us. (Photos from the memorial - on Facebook)

It's up to you to read the text above and spend some seconds to look at the Pictures.
You will learn me to know by doing

Here you see the Lucky Family in the beginning of the 1970'ies. Reading books for Ruben and Niklas in the Evenings was a Daily part of our life. Here you see from left Papa, Niklas, Solvi and Ruben.

Can it be true? A Sister? Here with Grandmothers to the left, brother Niklas, Ingelin on Rubens knees and Grandfather (My Father)

Playing Brothers - Here in Austria 1975

Here you see all my 4 kids - back in the mid 1980'ies (Niklas, Ingelin, Ruben, Mats)

Ruben as young teenager

Ruben, Mats, Ingelin, Papa
Ruben, Mats, Ingelin and Papa - 1994 in Puerto Montt. Chile. Ruben was the only one of us that could speak Spanish. Mat's - well he could also something.

Ruben and Son (Filip) - Bygdøy

Writing in Rubens Momorial Protocol - 1 hr and 33 minutes.

The last Farwell with Flowers

And here you see some of Rubens best friends. Photo taken January 29 - 2009.
We talked a lot. With the combination of loss and what Ruben had given them. Memorable.

Postscript. Ruben's friend did tell us he loved his Papa and Anna.
We are grateful for all the moments we had together.

Wordless Wednesday or total Silence Wednesday

Wednesday, October 21 - 2008 - Nordre Gravlund (Northern Cemetery) - Oslo, Norway
The Day before the Urn Interment.

Papa had to go and check it out during his Lunch hour: Is the Grave Stone brought back and properly rehabiltated - with Ruben's Name written correctly? And the special Stone, is it there with the correct words? Is every prepared for Wednesdays ceremony? What do we need to redo? New Plants? New Lights? etc.
Well, as you can see, the two Stones are there. Even the hole for the Urn.

Papa needs to plant and fix some Light to the Grave. It's also close to Tous Saints and X-Mas time. Must buy something on Wednesday before arrival. Enlarge to see my Family - on my Fathers side. It will be our Family Grave. Someday I'll be there too. It's good to know. Enlarge to view.

Top down:
My Grand Dad (Who build the Summerhouses) - he died on Dec 25 in 1963 - Cerebral Hermorrhage. Less than 10 hours from he felt his first pain. I was there at the first moment he felt something was wrong.
My Grand Mother - she died by Breast Cancer - I did not know about until 3 weeks afterwards. How could that be? At that I went around the old waterways in Europe. Writing for a Magazine. But - no Internet, no Cellphones, no international long distance call kiosks along our route - only "poste restante" at certain places. My Father - he died during a heart operation - most proberly due to the fact the operating crew did not got the information: Diabetes. So you must tune the anesthesias/narcosis.
My Son - Poisened with out knowing it. Do not ever take any kind of analgesic (2 days before) you know you will go to a party where drugs like Alcool etc will be served. If you broke a bone/leg and something, and you know within the 2-3 next Days, You are going to an important celebration - avoid all kinds of "stuff" that are giving you the same "relaxation" as Morfin.
IT' DEADLY. AND NOBODY TELLS YOU
Most Doctors do not know about this 3-fold combination. What happens is this. When these different ingredients, alone mostly positive (if not allergic), are combined, your brain send a certain Signal:
STOP BREATHING. When asleep you have no chance. You not only stop breathing, you also stop living. So take care when you have heavy pains.
(Ruben had from a very complicated fracture in his foot - and was told: Just relaxe.... Public Health can be very good - but also very neglecting when it's a monopoly) I'm Wordless.
The text on the tiny stone to the left: Vi savner deg - We miss you.
That Stone is brought by Rubens Brother (Niklas) and Sister (Ingelin) from his (Rubens) Favourite Summer Camp Island in the Inner Oslofjord (Langøyene - Long Islands - Just some minutes away from down town Oslo).

I'm Wordless

PhotoHunt: SAD - October 4 -2008

It's allways SAD to sign a Condolence Protocol. In this case, for our Son Ruben who died on May 18 this year - 40 years young. The writings lasted for 2 1/2 hours.

More PhotoHunters
PS. We are returning to our Winterhome this Weekend, thus we are very busy

Wordless - not this Wednesday

On Wednesdays, you my dear reader that knows me well, I use to present someting "Wordless" for you. From our life and thoughts up here at 60 degrees North. (Just now it's very pleasant climate -26 -28 C every Day)
My wordless this week is on my other blog (My Son in his Coffin - grrrr - believe me when I say:
I'm still crying) - Can you be more wordless than when Dead?

It's thank you all for all the kind thoughts and words the past weeks.

It's hard for me to believe I have to write these words - it's still unreal - like a nightmare.

I must confess every single comment makes us stronger after what should not normally happen. Excperience the Death of your own child.

Here is some pictures taken by me. The Pro-photos will be posted later. January 29 -2009.

The Church were filled up to the last seat - about 375 people - among them the poorest, homeless and workless - for whom Ruben dedicated his short life.
We had live bands and brought the Coffin out of the Church with people playing and singing Bob Marley's "Three little Birds".

Here is the last sight of the Coffin

Then we brought all the flowers down to a a cafe - we walked half a mile each with garlands, funeral wreaths and flowers - in a parade - and served people something to eat and drink.

Lot's of people did sign into his memorial protocol. It lasted for 2 1/2 hour.

Then we went to his fav cafe- another 1/2 a mile - bringing again all the flowers - stayed there with his best friends - what they told me was very strong - how he did help them out of hopeless situations, gave them confidence and spirit to a new life. Out of committing suicide - to take higher educations---

Outside "Ruinen" cafe - in Old Oslo. Friends of Ruben.

At a quarter to one in the night - we went into the Ruin Park (what's left from the Viking time in Oslo) and placed all the flowers there. That was a very strong moment. Our farwell to a Son, Father and person and friend that ruined himself by helping the weakest of the weakest.
Did we show feelings?

You can only imagine how strong scenes that took place out there in the heath of the Nordic Summer Night.

Summarized, we do think we did the right thing in the Spirit of Ruben

Thank you all for your sympathies and condolences

Tor - Anna - Solvi (his mother)
and siblings:
Niklas - Mats - Ingelin

Filip (Son)

and the rest of the family (incl Ruben's Grandma)

PS. Excuse my English at this moment.

PS. I'll come back and comment to your wonderful blogs in a while

2 1/2 hours - Wordless Wednesday

Rubens Friends and Familiy - it took 2 1/2 hours to write their words into his memorial-book.
WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

My personal bloggerfriend RenneyBA did post from the ceremony

Ruben: Funeral Day

This is Rubens Funeral Day - Monday, May 26 - 2008

Ruben as teenager

The Death Announcement

It will be a hard day.
Thanks for all kind words and warm thoughts from blogger-friends all over the world.

When I feel strong enough I will tell you more about Ruben. An extraodinary person - far away from the Main Stream.

Ruben - Jan 29-1968 - May 18-2008

My dear Son Ruben,
it's hard to believe for your Son, Parents, Family and all your Friends that you died on May 18, 2008, just passed the age of 40. In your own home. Probably by Heart problems. We hope you passed away without any hurt.

We will arrange a Funeral your style and allways at January 29 we'll have a gathering in the memory of you - friends and family. The symbol in the announcement will be a Pigeon and the Sun.

Here is the last photo I took of you. When you read your own poem to me on my 63 B D last April.
Your grandma was impressed both by the words and your performance. So were we all.

Excuse me, my dear Ruben, papa is crying, loudly. I'm gonna miss you. Like all the rest of us. Friends and Family.
Ingelin is back from Hong Kong and Mats is coming from Michigan - here in Oslo.
The memorial will take place at Kampen kirke, Monday May 26 at 1300, then at "Lompa". Wish you could have joined us.

papa